Well, as always, it seems like life is a series small steps forward followed by big steps back.
Fitness wise, I am still doing pretty good. I went to two zumba classes on Sunday and burned a ton of calories. (one step forward)
Then of course I ended up doing something to me knee and the trainer ordered me to go home and rest it and ice it yesterday. So I missed yesterday's workout and will probably be limited to only arms and shoulders today and tomorrow depending on how my knee heals. (two steps back) To top it off, I would love to say I was in the middle of some amazing dance move when I hurt my knee, but sadly it was nothing that exciting. I think I twisted it in my sleep on by sitting on it wrong because it started hurting sunday morning after I woke up. Of course, the two hours of zumba probably didn't help. Oh well.
On the TTC front, I feel the same way. We have been moving forward with turning the empty room in our house into a home gym rather than keep waiting to turn it into a nursery. I have also been feeling like I am really starting to think through our options and what I want to do in a rational way. (One step forward)
But then just when I think I am making progress on getting a handle on my emotions with all of this IF stuff TB and FB and every other website I check blows up with BFPs and I am not gonna lie -- it really stings. I don't know why I can't just be happy for others but right now, I just can't. It hurts. And it feels like right now it hurts more than ever. Maybe because we have been talking a lot about what if it never happens for us. But for whatever reason I have been really sad again the last few days. (like 5 steps back)
Ugh. I guess there is nothing you can do but just keep going. The lesson here for me is that some days are really good and others are really bad. The thing that helps me get through the bad ones is knowing that there are good ones right around the corner.
If anyone is reading this who is also struggling with the up and down emotions of IF then I send you big hugs because it sucks.
I totally hear you and I'm sorry you are having some really bad days lately. I think everyone going through IF struggles with how to be happy for someone else who is pregnant while you're so sad for yourself at the same time. It's totally normal but it doesn't make it any easier. In the meantime though, it sounds like you are really doing great things for yourself with all the exercise and weight loss. I'm sorry to hear about your knee - hopefully it won't keep you laid up for very long!
ReplyDeleteAnd PS: thanks oh so much for getting Paula Abdul stuck in my head :-P
Thanks, lady. You always know what to say. You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I had not connected the Paula Abdul song until you said that so now it is in my head. lol