Bummed

Well, ask and you shall receive I guess.  I had no sooner finished the last post about how terrible the waiting part of the TWW is when I went to the bathroom only to find bright red spotting.  Surely a sign that AF will be here today or tomorrow putting an end to my waiting.


It also puts an end to my hopes that the weight loss and hard work I put in would give us a chance to conceive on our own as I only made it to 8 dpo before the spotting began.  Assuming I O'ed when the pee sticks said, it seems clear that the weight loss did nothing for the LPD issues. 


Needless to say, I am totally bummed.  I let myself do the one thing I know better than to do  --  hope. 


I wasn't so much hopeful that I would get KU this cycle, but I was really hopeful that this cycle would prove that all of the hard work I have put in the last few months would really pay off and help correct some of these IF issues so we wouldn't have to spend thousands, upon thousands of dollars to try to get KU.    Because the ugly truth is we could end up spending thousands upon thousands of dollars and still end up living child free.


I know, I know, losing the weight and getting healthy were not for nothing.  I am healthier, and will live longer, blah, blah, blah.  What I wanted was to see my hard work pay off in this arena and the ugly truth is it simply is not enough. 


So, what now?  Well, I will call my RE once AF shows up in full force and then likely schedule an endometrial biopsy for next cycle to confirm what I suspect -- the LPD issues are still there.  Of course, this will be my fourth endometrial biopsy.  I know few others that have had that joy.  Bottom line is they hurt like hell and I am not looking forward to it.  Oh well.  Not much I can do about it. 


If the biopsy confirms what I think it will we will start bcps + injects + IUI/TI and see if we can make any progress that way. 


Right now I am just going to get through this day so I can go home and snuggle with the pups who always know just how to make me feel better.